Some people love to be scared.
They crave that flood of adrenaline. They live for the rush of endorphins and dopamine.
I’m not one of those people.
But that’s just me.
If you enjoy haunted houses, haunted hayrides and haunted… whatever, then good for you. Knock yourself out. Scream as loud as you want. Get that heart rate racing.
You want to binge-watch scary movies? No problem. These days, you could spend every night streaming and never see the same monster, maniac or murderer twice.
Personally, I prefer gags over gore. Laugh-out-loud funny is my wheelhouse. Give me the “Three Stooges” over “The Exorcist” any day of the week.
Around Halloween I’ll make an exception for “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein,” but other than that, I usually skip the hardcore scary stuff.
But just because I don’t binge-watch vampire and zombie movies doesn’t mean that I’m down on the holiday. I love Halloween and I’m sad that things will be different this year.
Then again, who knows how October 31st will play out?
Halloween falls on a full moon Saturday night. Millions of kids have been cooped up for months. Add the promise of free candy and... all bets are off.
It’s very possible that I’ll get some trick-or-treaters who knock on my front door. Some might think ahead and bring a 6-foot pool skimmer. Others may opt for a more old school pillow case or plastic pumpkin. In any case, I’ll have to stock up on tiny chocolate bars that I can launch from the safety of my front porch free-throw line.
And I’m going to need a costume. Any kids who venture out deserve something more than a guy in a face mask and sweatpants.
This is where I really need your help.
I've done the hard work of coming up with three terrifying ideas. I need you to crown the champion:
1. HALF A COROLLA WILD HORSE - I bought a whole horse costume years ago, but thanks to COVID-19, the two-person outfit doesn’t comply with social distancing guidelines. So I can only dress as one HALF of a Corolla Spanish Mustang. Keep in mind that if you vote for this costume, you’ll also need to specify WHICH half of the horse I should be.
2. MAJOR LEAGUE VUMPIRE - You're never safe with this guy behind the plate. He looks like a regular baseball official with his face mask and chest protector but his red velvet cape gives him away. If it’s your turn at bat, you should forget about balls and strikes and worry about those fangs!
3. FRANKENSTEIN'S MOBSTER - He’s the muscle of a Bavarian crime family created from spare body parts. Smear on some green face paint, grab an extra shiny polyester suit, stick on some neck bolts, slick the hair back and chomp on a toothpick. Bada bing! Is it scary? Fuggedaboutit.
If you can spare a minute, shoot me an email and CAST YOUR VOTE.
If you can’t spare a minute, I completely understand. There’s a lot going on in the world that's more important than what I wear on Saturday night.
That's enough nonsense for now.
Have a safe and Happy Halloween! Take care of yourself, take care of others and thanks for reading!
Director of Economic Development